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<< Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in L.A., you may not
have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now
issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los
Angeles Metropolitan Area. Here it is:
GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
Name: ___________________________
Stage name: __________________________
Agent's Name: __________________________
Attorney's Name: _______________________
Actual Age: _____ Admitted Age: _____
Sex: [ ] male [ ] female [ ] formerly male [ ] formerly female [ ] both
[ ] neither
If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a
motor vehicle in any way? Yes [ ] No [ ]
Occupation:
[ ] Lawyer
[ ] Actor/Waiter
[ ] Film-maker/Self-employed
[ ] Writer
[ ] Car Dealer
[ ] Pan-handler
[ ] Agent
[ ] Hooker/Transvestite
[ ] Other; please explain: ___________________________
Please list brand of cell phone: ________________________
(If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skin-head
Men: Please list shade of hair plugs ________________
Please indicate if you have Automobile Insurance: [ ] Yes [ ] No
If Yes, please explain:
Please check activities you perform while driving (Check all that
apply):
[ ] Eating a wrap
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Reading a book or newspaper
Please indicate how many times:
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
b) and how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ____.
If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately:
a) [ ] Call the police to report the crime;
b) [ ] Call Channel 4 News
--part1_81e5c66e.243c105d_boundary
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cog@micapeak.comPrecedence: bulkFrom: David Owen
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To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Pulled this off my Slowzuki list. thought y'all (well, at least some of
you) might get a chuckle outta this.
Dave.
--------------------
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Date: Tue, 06 Apr 1999 09:53:00 -0600
Message-Id: <370A2DDC.FAEEAE52@tcel.com>
From: tree <tree@tcel.com>
Subject: [Fwd: Please fill this out...]
To: Suzuki Listers <suzuki-l@mcf.com>
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Something you all just might get a kick out of... and keep this in mind
if you're moving to LA and plan on getting your bike licence!!!
tree
Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in L.A., you may not
have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now
issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los
Angeles Metropolitan Area. Here it is:
GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
Name: ___________________________
Stage name: __________________________
Agent's Name: __________________________
Attorney's Name: _______________________
Actual Age: _____ Admitted Age: _____
Sex: [ ] male [ ] female [ ] formerly male [ ] formerly female [ ] both
[ ] neither
If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a
motor vehicle in any way? Yes [ ] No [ ]
Occupation:
[ ] Lawyer
[ ] Actor/Waiter
[ ] Film-maker/Self-employed
[ ] Writer
[ ] Car Dealer
[ ] Pan-handler
[ ] Agent
[ ] Hooker/Transvestite
[ ] Other; please explain: ___________________________
Please list brand of cell phone: ________________________
(If you don't own a cell phone, please explain.)
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skin-head
Men: Please list shade of hair plugs ________________
Please indicate if you have Automobile Insurance: [ ] Yes [ ] No
If Yes, please explain:
Please check activities you perform while driving (Check all that
apply):
[ ] Eating a wrap
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Reading a book or newspaper
Please indicate how many times:
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers _____
b) and how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ____.
If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you should immediately:
a) [ ] Call the police to report the crime;
b) [ ] Call Channel 4 News
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