Fairlady From Hell
Once there was a young man named Hiro, who lived in the small town call
Huntington Beach. He was having no luck at all in America everything he
tried to just didn't work out.
One day, his uncle, from Sihizhawa Prefecture came to visit. His uncle was a
Fung Shweh Master. "Hiro" he said, "I detect a curse upon you!". "Really?"
Hiro replied. "Of Course!", said uncle "Can't you tell?" "Because of this
curse, everything we say, is out-of-sync with the movement of our mouths!".
Hiro jumped up and replied (still out-of sync), "Of Course!" "I knew
something must have caused all my bad luck!"
So Hiro and is Uncle performed the Funk swazy ritual, Burning incenses,
While praying to the East, drawing sand mandalas of Pokemmons and "Hello
Kitties", all to identify the source of the evil curse. The uncle, Jumped up
from his trance, and shouted NISSAN!!! They ran out to the driveway,
and...There....SHE......WAS!!!!
Black ... as a demon's soul. Grinning, LEERING at them with satin-finished
headlight buckets! They cringed as they could almost hear the laughter
coming from the chrome grill. "No! Uncle!" "It can't be!" Hiro cried. With
his voice low, the uncle told him, "I'm Sorry, Hiro. But It is.... It's..
the ... Fairlady from hell!"
"Hiro, You must get rid of that ..... car!" said uncle. Hiro pleaded, "But
Uncle, you don't understand" "It is a 67.7 SRL!" It is Very Valuable!" "I
was intending to ship it back to Japan to sell it" "It could fetch a price
there" "Enough to put me through school! The Master stood and point his
finger at Hiro. "No!" You must not return that car to the Homeland" "It
could cause Havoc" "It could even...destroy Tokyo!"
"You must sell this car here, in America, to save Japan" said uncle, "Sell
it to an American" "HA!" "That will teach them for 1945!". So Hiro put an ad
on the Datsun.org page. He got a few emails, but no one would relieve him of
the accursed car. One day, a very silly, tall, white American came and
bought the car. He even paid full price for it! After the car was towed away
by the silly gringo, Hiro ran inside and stood before a mirror and spoke,
"Is the curse gone?". his lips followed each syllable precisely.
Hiro returned to Japan shortly after, when the Nisei market crashed and his
parent could no longer support a student living in the USA. As for the poor
unlucky Gringo... We May Never Know!
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