For immediate release from London, England:
London, 10th November 2000
To the citizens of the United States of America,
Following your failure to elect a President of the USA to govern
yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice
of the revocation of your independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen
Elizabeth II will resume a monarch's duties over all states,
commonwealths and other territories.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply
with the following acts:
1. Look up "revoke" in a dictionary
2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God save the Queen"
3. Start referring to "soccer" as football
4. Declare war on Quebec
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly
to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776 of
Thank you for your cooperation and... have a nice day!