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High Speed Triumph Research Laboratory

To: fot@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: High Speed Triumph Research Laboratory
From: "John Herrera" <>
Date: Wed, 01 Dec 2004 16:38:21 -0500
High Speed Triumph Research Laboratory to Downsize

The High Speed Triumph Research Laboratory located at Soggy Bottom near 
Myersville has released a report stating that the Laboratory will 
drastically reduce operations. The reduction is due to the cessation of the 
flow of funds from the Laboratory's benefactor, Lord Whitworth.

Established in 1997, the initial mission of the Laboratory was to develop a 
TR3 into a High Speed Competition Machine. The High Speed Research Team 
conducted experiments in the Laboratory toward this goal. This mission was 
modified in early 2004 into Get the TR3 to Run at All.

The Prototype High Speed TR3, the test bed for the Laboratory's experiments 
known affectionately to the Boffins as "The White Car", is being sold to 
finance the daily living expenses of the remaining Research Team.

Boffins Sir Alex Redding and Craig "Pop" Wensley are being let go, but have 
announced their availability for Consultant work, should the Laboratory need 
them. Dr. John Herrera, Chief Boffin and Custodian, is being kept on to 
sweep the Lab floor and watch over the Prototype TR3 until it is delivered 
to the new owner. In return, he is allowed to live in the cottage on the 
property of Lord Whitworth's Estate, Soggy Bottom. Felix Holstein will 
remain on as Official Mascot.

The new mission of the Laboratory is to find a cure for Vacancy of the 
Cranium in College Administrators. This research will continue until a cure 
is found or until it is decided that a cure cannot be found, whichever comes 

The Laboratory will also continue to maintain The Blue TR3. This was a Mule 
that served as a test bed before The White TR3 was obtained. The Blue Car, 
affectionately known to the Boffins as "Old Reliable", is presently stored 
in the Laboratory's Annex at Soggy Bottom. The Annex is also known as "The 
Other Shed". The Blue Car will be moved to the Laboratory's Main Facility 
when the Prototype TR3 is removed.

"'Tis a sad sad day in Soggy Bottom", commented Dr. Herrera on the 
downsizing of the Laboratory.

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