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Funny story

To: mgs@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: Funny story
From: Bill Eastman <william.eastman@medtronic.com>
Date: Wed, 18 Jun 1997 09:32:30 -0500
Someone asked (blame Aron) so here it goes.

My SO never rode in the Cor***te in the three years that it occupied our
garage.  This behavior was a result of the purchase strategy I used when
procurring said fiberglass behemoth.

I had a Tr***ph Spi***re and a Harley Sportster at the time.  The Spit was
a nice little car but it was, to be kind, a little less car than I wanted. 
Besides that, I rode the Harley like a dirt bike and kept falling down. 
This worried the SO since my life insurance would pay off only if I was
actually dead, not vegetative.  So the bike was fingered as "machina non
gratta" and needed to find a new home.  Rather than have the capital value
turned into some other, less fun asset (my SO's pet name for the Harley was
"the new deck") I conspired to sell both the Spit and the Sporty and
consolidate into one, more upscale, sports car.  

My first impule was to buy an A.  However, looking at the technical specs,
I thought that the A would not be enough of an upgrade from the Spit. 
Maybe one of those falls off the Harley had already done some damage!  I
also thought about a nice B and using the cash difference to add a few
accessories like Minilites but that was risky since, when I had sold my BSA
earlier, the assets found a way to become the SO's pet name for that
device- "The new couch."  My brother recommended an old muscle car,
preferably Mopar.  The SO said that if the new ride had an automatic, she
may drive it occasionally.

I decided that the perfect compromise would be a Cor***te.  It was the only
sports car that I would own with an automatic plus, being American, it was
close to a muscle car.  The search was on!

It was the fall so I was sure that I could get a good deal.  I started
calling and looking.  My SO asked what I was doing looking for a new car
before we had divested of the old stuff.  I explained that you bought in
the fall and sold in the spring.  Visions of a garage full of old cars
filled her head (and mine) and she said that this was unnacceptable.  I
would have to sell the old one before I bough the new ones.  I said that we
would be better off financially if we did it my way (and I still harbored
dreams of keeping them all).

Well, the week before Christmas, some poor guy's Visa bill came in and he
was force to reconsider my modest offer on his pride and joy.  On December
30, (my birthday!) the deal was done and I was the proud owner of an 84
Vette.  My wife was less than enthusiastic and said that, since I didn't
sell my other cars first, she would boycott the Vette until she forced my
to sell it.  (Her sister recommended other, more harsh boycotts but luckily
she stuck to her orignial plan.)

That spring I sold the Spit (for an obscene price, if you ask me but it was
a pretty nice one) and the Harley (to a guy who just kept handing me 50's
and 20's until we got to the right amount).  The transactions took place
just as I had forecast so I figured that everything would settle down. 
Wrong!  Nancy still refused to have anything to do with "that red piece of
crap."  After a year or two she settled down but she still wouldn't ride in
it.  She is Norwegian and German so she can be a little stubborn.  After
three years the thrill of acceleration had worn off and I was getting sick
of the "Corvette attitude" so it was time to move on.  I found someone via
the internet who would trade the Vette for and MGA and now I have the car
that I should have bought in the first place if I hadn't landed on my head
so often.  Nancy claims to care less about cars yet she is very particular
about what we drive.  She really does like the A as witnessed by the
extremely short lengths of displeasure following each time I spend money on
it.  Things are looking up!  You know, since I'm on a roll I wouldn't mind
having ....

Regards,
Bill Eastman
61 MGA 



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