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New Bumper Stickers

To: mgs@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: New Bumper Stickers
From: Mike Hartley <mganut@accucomm.net>
Date: Thu, 25 Sep 1997 10:25:07 -0400
> 
> New Bumper Stickers
> ---------
>       Horn broken. Watch for finger.
>       Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
>       All generalizations are false.
>       Cover me.  I'm changing lanes.
>       I brake for no apparent reason.
>       Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
>       I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
>       Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
>       We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
>       He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>       Lottery:  A tax on people who are bad at math.
>       It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
>       Auntie Em,  Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.  Dorothy.
>       Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
>       Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
>       I love cats...they taste just like chicken.
>       Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.
>       Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
>       Born free...Taxed to death.
>       The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
>       Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
>       Rehab is for quitters.
>       I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
>       Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let him sleep.
>       All men are idiots, and I married their King.
>       Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
>       Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
>       Montana-At least our cows are sane!
>       I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
> vegetarian.
>       Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
>       If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
>       When you do a good deed, get a receipt-in case heaven is like the
> IRS..
>       Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
>       No radio - Already stolen.
>       Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
>       Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
>       I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
>       Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
>       OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
>       Few women admit their age;  Fewer men act it.
>       I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
>       Hard work has a future payoff.  Laziness pays off NOW.
>       Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
>       IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
>       Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students.
> 
>       It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
>       According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
>       Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
>       Pride is what we have.  Vanity is what others have.
>       A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
>       Reality?  Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
>       How can I miss you if you won't go away?
>       Warning:  Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
>       Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
>       We are born naked, wet, and hungry.  Then things get worse.
>       Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
>       Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
>       Friends help you move.  Real friends help you move bodies.
>       Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
>       Puritanism:  The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be
> happy.
>       Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.
>       i souport publik edekashun.
>       Be nice to your kids.  They'll choose your nursing home.
>       Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
>       There are 3 kinds of people:  those who can count & those who
> can't.
>       Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
>       Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
>

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