ROFLOL!!! Thanks for sending that! I love it!
And merry Christmas to you too! :)
Blake Wylie
1970 MGB
At 09:08 PM 12/16/97 -0500, Tom Buchanan wrote:
>57 ELM STREET
>BETHLEHEM, PA.
>11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH
>
>We're too late! It's already been here.
>
>Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing.
>
>Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated,
>mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with
>boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care.
>
>You really think someone's been here?
>
>Someone, or something.
>
>Mulder, over here--it's a fruitcake.
>
>Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal.
>
>It's O.K. There's a note attached: "Gonna find out who's
>naughty and nice."
>
>It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list.
>
>Who? What are you talking about?
>
>Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who
>could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants.
>Once each year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to
>descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish
>disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite.
>
>But that's legend, Mulder--a story told by parents to
>frighten children. Surely you don't believe it?
>
>Something was here tonight, Scully. Check out the bite
>marks on this gingerbread man. Whatever tore through this plate of
>cookies was massive--and in a hurry.
>
>It left crumbs everywhere. And look, Mulder, this milk
>glass has been completely drained.
>
>It gorged itself, Scully. It fed without remorse.
>
>But why would they leave it milk and cookies?
>
>Appeasement. Tonight is the Eve, and nothing can stop its
>wilding.
>
>But if this thing does exist, how did it get in? The doors
>and windows were locked. There's no sign of forced entry.
>
>Unless I miss my guess, it came through the fireplace.
>
>Wait a minute, Mulder. If you're saying some huge creature
>landed on the roof and came down this chimney, you're crazy. The
>flue is barely six inches wide. Nothing could get down there.
>
>But what if it could alter its shape, move in all
>directions at once?
>
>You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?
>
>Exactly. Scully, I've never told anyone this, but when I
>was a child my home was visited. I saw the creature. It had long white
>shanks of fur surrounding its ruddy, misshapen head. Its bloated
>torso was red and white. I'll never forget the horror. I turned away,
>and when I looked back it had somehow taken on the facial features of
>my father.
>
>Impossible.
>
>I know what I saw. And that night it read my mind. It
>brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. It knew that I wanted a Mr. Potato
>Head!
>
>I'm sorry, Mulder, but you're asking me to disregard the
>laws of physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being
>who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and
>boys. Listen to what you're saying. Do you understand the
>repercussions? If this gets out, they'll close the X-files.
>
>Scully, listen to me: It knows when you're sleeping. It
>knows when you're awake.
>
>But we have no proof.
>
>Last year, on this exact date, SETI radio telescopes
>detected bogeys in the airspace over twenty-seven states. The White House
>ordered a Condition Red.
>
>But that was a meteor shower.
>
>Officially. Two days ago, eight prized Scandinavian
>reindeer vanished from the National Zoo, in Washington, D.C. Nobody--not
>even the zookeeper--was told about it. The government doesn't want
>people to know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing
>is proved to exist the public will stop spending half its annual income
>in a Christmas shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse.
>Scully, they cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There's
>too much at stake. They'll do whatever it takes to insure another
>silent night.
>
>Mulder, I--
>
>Sh-h-h. Do you hear what I hear?
>
>On the roof. It sounds like...a clatter.
>
>The truth is up there. Let's see what's the matter...
>
> Tom
>"growing old is mandatory - growing up..... that's optional"
>
>
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