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A real spridget solution; WAS: Great American Gas Out

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: A real spridget solution; WAS: Great American Gas Out
From: Jeff Boatright <jboatri@emory.edu>
Date: Sun, 27 Feb 2000 08:07:45 -0500
This was written to the spridgets list in response to a thread about 
a proposed 'gas out' -  I think my plan is better...
---

I doubt that the organizers (if such exist) have any delusions that a 
drop in consumption resulting from a gas out would have any effect, 
even at the very local level. My assumption is that the goal is press 
coverage. This would have some effect, though an unpredictable one 
once the affair became political.

Given that my Sprite returns a fairly steady 33 mpg, I think that our 
best bet at effecting true change is to call for a constitutional 
amendment requiring US auto manufacturers to build, market, and sell 
spridgets. They would be allowed to sell other vehicles, but only 
under penalty. The penalties will be linked to the size and fuel 
consumption of the non-spridget products and other indexes that I 
choose (since I will be the car czar). Thus, Ford would be forced to 
sell 123 Sprites for every Incursion...er..Excursion sold. However, 
they would gain points for every Euro-spec Focus sold in the States. 
DaimlerChrysler would be forced to sell 138 Midgets for every 
Mercedes-Benz sold in the States. The extra 15 spridget penalty is 
because we're already tired of Daimler's 'Uber All' attitude. GM 
sucks so badly that they will not be allowed to make or sell 
spridgets. Instead, they will have to take a financial penalty for 
every boring, rainy-day-in-dreary-old-Pimlico car they sell. Since 
this is all they make anyway, these penalties will force the demise 
of GM, and none too soon. Happily, the extra effort that it takes to 
hand-build the spridgets means that all those GM workers will have 
jobs waiting for them in the Ford and Chrysler plants. All auto 
workers would then have interesting jobs that require thinking and 
craftsmanship. Accident rates would drop as people would be driving 
cars that (1) they can handle and (2) they know will not protect them 
if they do hit something. Additionally, serious injury rates would 
plummet: We'd all be driving little cars that make going the speed 
limit fun, so the few accidents that do occur will be fender-benders. 
Finally, our dependence on foreign oil would truly decrease, 
greenhouse gas production would drop, the hole in the ozone would 
fill again, and spotted owls would roam the earth looking to kick 
butt on snail darters.

Now, if we'd all just do as I say...

---
On 2/26/00, paul m wrote:
>mike,
>       this kind of activity is a futile effort and probably would result
>in a false impression. just consider the stability of oil/fuel prices
>that
>is created by the futures markets in crude oil in 3 and 6 month
>increments.
>a 3 day boycott at the retail level would be about as significant as a
>pimple would be on the north end of a south-bound elephant.
>
>lbc content: adult elephants usually weigh more than a "stock"
>spridget!
>(your tonnage may vary)
>
>paul m

Jeffrey H. Boatright, PhD
Senior Editor, Molecular Vision
http://www.molvis.org/molvis
"Seeing the Future in a Very Tiny Way"

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