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Re: Euro-English; no LBC content

To: <Gonaj@aol.com>
Subject: Re: Euro-English; no LBC content
From: "Steve Conley" <swconley@foxinternet.net>
Date: Sat, 15 Apr 2000 14:25:13 -0700
Zat's funy!


----- Original Message -----
From: <Gonaj@aol.com>
To: <mgs@autox.team.net>
Sent: Saturday, April 15, 2000 3:54 AM
Subject: Euro-English; no LBC content


> I just thought that you LBC folk would have a particular appreciation for
> this one.
>
>  Euro-English
>  ---------------
>  The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
>  English will be the official language of the European Union
>  rather than German, which was the other possibility.
>
>  As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government conceded that
>  English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
>  5 year phase-in plan that would be known as  "Euro-English".
>
>  In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'.  Sertainly, this
>  will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be
>  dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and
>  keyboards kan have one less letter.
>
>  There will be growing publik  enthusiasm in the sekond year when
>  the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make
>  words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.
>
>  In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
>  expekted to reach the  stage where more komplikated changes are
>  possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double leters which
>  have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that
>  the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it
>  should go away.
>
>  By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th'
>  with 'z' and 'w' with  'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o'
>  be dropd from vords  kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors
>  be aplid to oza kombinations of letas.
>
>  After ziz fifz yer ve vil have a rali sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
>  mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu anderstand ech
>  oza. Ze drem of an united urop vil finali kum tru!
>


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