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You may have seen this before....

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: You may have seen this before....
From: WSpohn4@aol.com
Date: Mon, 30 Aug 2004 16:00:45 EDT
SU carburettor functional  explanation101:
The basic secret of carb function is that inside each carb  are thousands of 
tiny gnomes; each with a small bucket. As you open the  throttle, more of 
these gnomes are allowed out of their house and into the float  bowl, where 
they 
fill the buckets and climb up the carb's passages to the  intake, where they 
empty their buckets into the air stream.

But, if you don't drive the car for a while, bad  things can happen. Tiny 
bats take up residence in the chambers of the carb, and  before long the 
passages 
are plugged up with guano. This creates a gnome traffic  jam, and so not 
enough bucketfuls of fuel can get to the engine. If it gets bad  enough, the 
gnomes simply give up and go take a nap. The engine won't run at all  at this 
point. Sometimes you'll have a single dedicated gnome still on the job,  which 
is 
why the
car will occasionally fire as the gnome tosses his lone  bucket load down the 
intake.

There has been some research into using tiny  dwarves in modern carburettors. 
The advantage is that unlike gnomes, dwarves are  miners and can often 
re-open a clogged passage. Unfortunately, dwarves have a  natural fear of 
earthquakes, as any miner should. In recent tests, the engine  vibrations 
caused the 
dwarves to evacuate the MGB vehicle and make a beeline for  the nearest BMW 
dealership. Sadly, BMW's are fuel injected and so the poor  dwarves
met an unfortunate end in the rollers of a Bosch fuel  pump.

Other carb problems can also occur. If the level of fuel in the  float bowl 
rises too high, it will wipe out the Section 8 gnome housing in the  lower 
parts of the carb. The more affluent gnomes build their homes in the  diaphragm 
chamber, and so are unaffected. This is why the car is said to be  "running 
rich".

If the fuel bowl level drops, then the gnomes have to  walk farther to get a 
bucketful of fuel. This means less fuel gets to the engine  because the gnomes 
get quite a workout from this additional distance, this  condition is known 
as "running lean".

The use of the device known only as  the 'choke' has finally been banned by 
PETG (People for the Ethical Treatment of  Gnomes) and replaced by a new carb 
circuit that simply allows more gnomes to  carry fuel at once when the engine 
needs to start or warm up. In the interests  of decorum, I prefer not to 
explain how the 'choke' operated. You would rather  not know anyway. 

Check out the new British Cars Forum:
http://www.team.net/the-local/tiki-view_forum.php?forumId=8





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