[Top] [All Lists]

Do you speak used LBC?

Subject: Do you speak used LBC?
Date: Mon, 11 Jul 2005 19:06:41 EDT
Do You Speak Used?
by Eric Peters


"Used," of course, is the international  language of the used car classified 
ads. Those fluent in Used can decipher the  critical modifers and clauses that 
sellers use to convey subtle details about  the condition of the vehicle 
they're trying to sell -- or unload, as the case  may be.

Those who don't speak Used can get into real trouble -- just like  the 
ignorant Americano who doesn't know the difference between "Hombres" and  
"Senoritas" when it's time to hit the bathroom South of the border.

Here,  then, is a practical guide to Used:

"Must see to appreciate" -- What a  brutal life this car has suffered.

"Runs real strong" -- For a car with  more miles on it than Elizabeth Taylor.

"Program car" -- Former media  test car subjected to more repeated floggings 
than a prisoner at  Gitmo.

"Clean" -- Recenty washed by sulky teenager

"Concours  condition" -- Waxed (and dipped in Armor All) by sulky teenager.

"Rebuilt  engine" -- New spark plugs and a can of "Motor Honey."

"Body solid" --  The car needs a new engine or transmission.

"Illness forces sale" -- I'm  really sick of this car.

"Selling for a friend" -- The car was bought at  a fleabag auction and the 
seller hopes to turn a fast buck by selling it to you  for $1,000 more than he 
paid for it.

"A true classic" -- An old, tired,  high-mile car one step away from the 

"Loaded" -- The engine's  shot, but the car has AC and power windows.

"Need a little work" -- Bring  a tow truck. 

Robert  Houston
74.5 MGBGT
63 TR4
73 MG Midget

Firstly you must always  implicitly obey orders, without attempting to form 
any opinion of your own  regarding their propriety. Secondly, you must consider 
every man your enemy who  speaks ill of your king; and thirdly you must hate 
a Frenchman as you hate the  devil._ Horatio  Nelson_ 

<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>
  • Do you speak used LBC?, RampantNM <=