----- Original Message -----
From: "John Smith" <mecarnut@perth.net>
To: <wbcc@yahoogroups.com>; <rr.b@rroc.org>; "Rick Thompson"
<drrthompson@home.com>; "Nick Pratt/Markham/IBM" <npratt@ca.ibm.com>; "Mary
& David Turner" <turner@sgci.com>; "laurence kirkham" <lkirkham@bdsi.ca>;
"John & Loraine Baillargeon" <johncb@sympatico.ca>; "elva"
<elva@wightman.ca>; <BritCarTalk@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, October 06, 2001 10:49 AM
Subject: Fw: A collection of Prince of Darkness jokes
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: <Alasdair.Mcnellan@Cummins.com>
> To: <Rbarker@peo.on.ca>
> Sent: Friday, October 05, 2001 1:12 PM
> Subject: A collection of Prince of Darkness jokes
>
>
> > A collection of Prince of Darkness jokes.
> >
> >
> > The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
> >
> > Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they still claim "sudden,
> unexpected darkness"
> >
> > Lucas--inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
> >
> > Lucas--inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
> >
> > The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three
> switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
> >
> > The original anti-theft devices--Lucas Electric products.
> >
> > "I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any
> prob...
> >
> > If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
> >
> > Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
> >
> > It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal
Ohm's
> Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
> >
> > Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and
asked
> the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since
> > they all look the same?" "He replied, it doesn't matter which one you
use,
> nothing happens!"
> >
> > Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began
> manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which
> > didn't suck.
> >
> > Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they had
> trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires longer.
> >
> > Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas made the refrigerators, too.
> >
> > Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
> > Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
> > Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
> >
> > Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment:
check
> the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise
> > around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your
> unworthy servant."
> >
> > Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
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