I might doubt the authenticity of this since M-D doesn't make all the planes
cited, but it's still appropriate. . .
***********************
Here's an unusual warranty registration card!
This was posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course,
does not (have a sense of humor) -- and made the web department take it
down immediately.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order
to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
warranty registration card below.
Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help
us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen.
[_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
First Name:...........................................................
Initial:............
Last:...............
Name:............................................................
Password:............................... (max 8 char)
Code
Name:..........................................................
Your home Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: .....................................
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[ ]F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... /........
4. Serial
Number:...................................................
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas
product you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[ ] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
[_] Maximum G force
[_] Aviation fuel consumption per kilometer
[_] Durability
[_] Trade-in value
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be
used:
[ ] North America
[_] Iraq
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Iraq
[_] Middle East (not Iraq)
[_] Iraq
[ ] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Iraq
[ ] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Classified
[_] Iraq
[_] New Zealand
[_] Iraq
[_] Australia
[_] Iraq
[_] Pacific/Oceania
[_] Iraq
[_] Antarctica
[_] Iraq
[_] Shetland Islands
[_] Iraq
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend
to purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-Air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
[_] Hair Dryer
[_] Spam
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
[_] Nomadic
[ ] Shepherd-like
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Traveler's check
[_] Opium
[_] Hockey Card collection
[_] Returned all your empties
12. Your occupation
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
[_] Military general
[ ] Admiral of the fleet
[_] Flips hamburgers at McDonalds
[_] Deep Sea Diver
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse
enjoy participating on a regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Sabotage
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Default on loans
[_] Gardening
[ ] Crafts
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV / Public Executions
[ ] Wines
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help
McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as
allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other
companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a
brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes.
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