Frank wrote:
> Here in Jersey, we don't kick ass anymore.
> We don't like getting sh*t on our shoes. We leave that to the red
necks.
> We just nail your knee caps to the floor with a nail gun.
Ron added:
>> I forwarded that to the relatives in Elizabeth, NJ and
>> in Brooklyn. There'll be a few people scraping their
>> nipples off the cornstalks by noon tomorrow.
Here in Iowa, we sent all the asses elsewhere; most, I'm told, settled on
the eastern seaboard and within shouting distance o' the Great Lakes.
Thus, the only asses we can find to kick belong to tourists, and as a
rule, we save the sh*t to fertilize the fields. One should note, though,
that even with the great number of easterners and other freaks who've
been wrung over the fields, the corn ain't up yet -- at least not to a
height sufficient to allow any body parts to be attached to, let alone
scraped from. Durned citified fools, anyway....
But seriously, guys, I haven't had that good a laugh in a long time -
some of ya have quite the unique sense of humor! By the way, I was gonna
claim that Frank's nail gun was invented by an Iowan, but didn't want
anyone to confuse me with someone who invented the Internet, saved the
whales, and was the inspiration for a book by Erich Segal.....
Rich (that's *Mr.* Redneck to you)
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