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The Modern Toolbox...NO LBC

To: spridgets@autox.team.net, midgetsprite@yahoogroups.com
Subject: The Modern Toolbox...NO LBC
Date: Fri, 9 Nov 2001 11:03:31 EST
Cc: dbristow5@home.com, DDorman@skychefs.com, MSuziMcD@aol.com, lwilliams@acaciapark.com, Zorawms@aol.com, LynchCELynch@aol.com
Frank among others should be able to relate to this.,,

                  The Modern Toolbox

  Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict
  pain on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict
  pain on oneself.

  Screwdriver - The drink ordered at the local bar after you
  call in a professional repairman to undo the $500 in damage
  you did while trying to change out a light socket with your
  handy screwdriver.

  Phillips Screwdriver - The bar drink that you order when the
  damage estimate is over $1,000. Contains twice the vodka.

  Pliers - A device used to extend your reach the necessary
  few inches when you drop a one-of-a-kind screw down
  behind the new wall it took you two weeks to install.

  Multi-Pliers - Contain a handy assortment of sharp and
  dangerous tools. Best left in its leather sheath and worn
  on a homeowners belt to increase testosterone levels.

  Electronic Stud Finder - An annoying device that never
  goes off when you point it at yourself.

  Halogen Light - A worklight that lights up your backyard
  with the incandescence of a football stadium, causing
  you to cast a heavy shadow over the area you're working
  on so that you need to use a flashlight anyway.

  Cordless Drill - A device that lessens your chance of
  electrocution 90% over a standard plug-in tool.

  Cordless Telephone - The handyman's 911.

  Air Compressor - A mechanical device similar in principal
  to harnessing the power of your mother-in-laws nagging
  complaints and using the resulting airflow to blast old
  paint off the side of the house.

  Chain saw - Allows you to cut your way out of the shed that
  you accidentally built completely around yourself.

  Vise Grips - A pair of helping hands that doesn't critique
  the job you're doing or offer advice.





Robert Houston
Santa Teresa, NM
'74 Midget
63 TR4
..
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