spridgets
[Top] [All Lists]

No LBC!!! Report from Nashville, TN

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: No LBC!!! Report from Nashville, TN
Date: Sun, 30 Dec 2001 22:11:30 EST
Along with the arrest of suspected "Shoe Bomber", Phillip Reid, has come a 
new outcry for shoe control. Amid  reports that Imelda Marcus recognized 
photos of Reid, activists on both sides of the volatile question rushed to 
make charges and countercharges. 

"We should have known something like this would happen, what with everyone 
just running around with un-registered shoes", said Harvard professor Alan 
Dershowitz. "Not so", said actor Tom Selleck, long time shoe proponent and 
president of the powerful NSA, National Shoe Association. "Shoes don't kill 
people, matches kill people", he said. "There are plenty of shoe control laws 
on the books now, if we only enforced them".

While editorials in the Tennessean, Boston Globe, Washington Post, and the 
L.A. Times advocated further legislation to force people to register their 
shoes, citizens throughout the country expressed their love affair with 
shoes. 

In Texas, where shoes are  considered a part of the rugged image, Harold 
Murphy stated defiantly, "Damn right, I own un-registered shoes. Keep a pair 
right next to my bed. You let some intruder enter my house late at night, 
he'll get a pointy- toed cowboy boot up his ass". In the hills of East 
Tennessee, Thomas Greene said he only has two bumper stickers on the bumper 
of his rusted-out pickup truck. One deals with prying  shoes off cold dead 
toes, while the other proudly states, "Tom Selleck is MY president!"

Hopefully, a compromise can be reached. Perhaps shoe education and efforts to 
keep shoes away from children, a tradition that has worked well for 
generations in Mississippi.

Selleck added in closing, "Remember, if shoes are outlawed, only outlaws will 
have shoes".

Reporting from the battleground, I am Geraldo Rivera at the Payless Shoe 
Store right here in Nashville, Tennessee. (Whoa, was that a brogan that just 
sailed past my head?!!)  

///  unsubscribe/change address requests to majordomo@autox.team.net  or try
///  http://www.team.net/mailman/listinfo
///  Archives at http://www.team.net/cgi-bin/wilma/spridgets


<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>
  • No LBC!!! Report from Nashville, TN, Unknown <=