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Fwd: Trailer trash No LBC

To: spridgets@autox.team.net
Subject: Fwd: Trailer trash No LBC
Date: Sun, 2 Nov 2003 07:56:39 EST
Return-path: <ONeillcomm@aol.com>
From ONeillcomm at aol.com
Full-name: ONeillcomm
Date: Sat, 1 Nov 2003 21:57:23 EST
Subject: Trailer trash
To: HealeyRic2@aol.com

Some useful ways to determine if you're really trailer trash (or from rural 
Maine):  
>  
> 1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 
> 
> 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front 
of 
her kids. 
> 
> 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 
> 
> 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different 
night. 
> 
> 5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people." 
> 
> 6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 
> 
> 7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey, watch this." 
> 
> 8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 
> 
> 9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 
> 
> 10. Your junior prom had a daycare. 
> 
> 11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen 
start 
your engines." 
> 
> 12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its 
wheels. 
> 
> 13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how 
much 
gas is in it. 
> 
> 14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 
> 
> 15. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 
> 
> 16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the 
House 
of Tattoos. 
> 
> 17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against 
it. 
> 
> 18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. 
> 
> 19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. 
> 
> 20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor. 
> 
> 21. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on 
the side. 
> 
> 22. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart... 
> 
> 23. If your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V... 
> 
> 24. If you thought the Una-bomber was a wrestler... 
> 
> 25. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table... 
> 
> 26. If you think a quarter horse is that ride out in front of the K-Mart. 
> 
> 27. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings 
you 
home... 
> 
> 28. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 dollars worth of 
improvement... 
> 
> 29. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher 
> 
> 30. If you've ever asked the preacher "How's it hangin?" 
> 
> 31. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty... 
> 
> 32. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph. 
> 
> 33. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you 
take 
them out to see what it is... 
> 
> 34. If you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said 
concentrate. 
> 
> 35. If you've ever been too drunk to fish.





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