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[Spridgets] Fwd: New Electrical Theory

To: Spridget <spridgets@autox.team.net>
Subject: [Spridgets] Fwd: New Electrical Theory
From: Larry & Sandi Mller <millerls@ado13.com>
Date: Sun, 16 Dec 2012 11:03:23 -0800
Delivered-to: mharc@autox.team.net
Delivered-to: spridgets@autox.team.net
References: <6AFA67AF-06D5-4425-85A3-D6EBF9A912EE@sbcglobal.net>
>> Lucas Electrics
>>
>>      Electrical Theory - by Joe Lucas
>>
>>
>>
>>      Positive ground (they meant "earth") depends on proper circuit
>>
>>      functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention
>>
>>      of the visible spectral manifestation known as smoke.
>>
>>
>>
>>      Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this
>>
>>      to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical
>>
>>      circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through
>>
>>      empirical testing.
>>
>>
>>
>>      For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a
>>
>>      battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery
>>
>>      shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke
>>
>>      escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage
>>
>>      regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer
>>
>>      functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!
>>
>>
>>
>>      The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one
>>
>>      device to another.
>>
>>
>>
>>      When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the
>>
>>      system, nothing works afterward.
>>
>>
>>
>>      Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for
>>
>>      some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke,
>>
>>      requiring very unsightly large wires.
>>
>>
>>
>>      It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly
>>
>>      more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or
>>
>>      American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas
>>
>>      is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil,
>>
>>      British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak
>>
>>      fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national
>>
>>      defense secrets.
>>
>>
>>
>>      Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak
>>
>>      smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.
>>
>>
>>
>>      In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy
>>
>>      in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries
>>
>>      of electrical components especially British units manufactured by
>>
>>      Joseph Lucas, Ltd.
>>
>>
>>
>>      And remember: A gentleman does not motor about after dark.
>>
>>
>>
>>      Joseph Lucas - The Prince of Darkness
>>
>>
>>
>>      A few Lucas quips:
>>
>>
>>
>>      The Lucas motto: Get home before dark.
>>
>>
>>
>>      Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
>>
>>      Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
>>
>>      Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
>>
>>
>>
>>      The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other
>>
>>      three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
>>
>>
>>
>>      The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
>>
>>
>>
>>      If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
>>
>>
>>
>>      Back in the '70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and
>>
>>      began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they
>>
>>      offered which did not suck.
>>
>>
>>
>>      Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
>>
>>      A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> What's really scary:    Lucas make aviation control hydraulics for Boeing
and Airbus .  .  .
------------------------

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