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a good rule

To: ANDERSON_RICK/HP-Cupertino_om5@csitcom5.cup.hp.com, tigers@Autox.Team.Net
Subject: a good rule
From: JEFF_CARTER@HP-Cupertino-om5.om.hp.com
Date: Mon, 3 Mar 97 12:33:56 -0700
     This is good stuff.  Maybe someone could edit this to apply seating 
     arrangements of feuding children.!?  Say, "Coming Up the Rear Left" 
     and "Coming Up the Rear Right", or something more concise that lends 
     well to the sticatto tongues of our competitive little maroons, maybe 
     "Left gun" or "Right Gun".


     
>
>>                        THE SHOTGUN RULES 
>>
>>The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the passenger 
>>seat)in an automobile.  These rules are definitive and binding.
>>
>>
>>1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word 
>>"Shotgun"in a clear voice.  This call must be heard and acknowledged by 
>>the driver.  The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the >>call 
as long as the driver verifies the call.
>>
>>2.  Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are 
>>outside and on the way to said vehicle.
>>
>>3.  Early calls are strictly prohibited.  Shotgun may only be called 
>>while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive 
>>immediately forthcoming.  Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle 
>>or still technically on the way to the first location.  For example, one can 
>>not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.
>>
>>4.  The driver has final say in all ties and disputes.  The driver 
>>has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or 
>>more persons.
>>
>>
>>These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in 
>>the orderpresented; the case listed first will take precedence over any of the
>>cases beneath it, when applicable.
>>
>>1.  In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or 
>>otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she 
>>is automatically given Shotgun.
>>
>>2.  If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is 
>>not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline. 
>>
>>3.  In the instance the the driver's spouse, lover, partner, etc.is going to 
>>accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they 
>>decline.
>>
>>4.  In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill 
>>during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she 
>>will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to 
>>make appropriate use of the window.
>>
>>5.  In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location 
>>and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the 
>>group they automatically get Shotgun, unless 
>>they decline.
>>
>>6.  In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to 
>>fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and 
>>award Shotgun to the genetic misfit.  Alternatively, the driver and 
>>other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a 
>>three hour trip with him crammed in the back.
>>
>>The Survival of the Fittest Rule
>>
>>1.  If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival of 
>>the Fittest Rule on the process of calling Shotgun.  In this case all 
>>rules, excepting I-4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied 
>>by whoever can take it by force.
>>
>>2.  The driver must announce the institution of the Survival of the 
>>Fittest Rule with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces 
>>the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle. 
>>
>>Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability.  If 
>>there are any arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules, 
>>please refer to rule I-4.
>>
>>
>>
>>                      __o_\___    
>>---------------- @@  =-O----O-' ----
>>E-mail: Joel S. Garblik, DDS <jgarblik@ansremote.com     
>>
>>  
>>
>>
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>> 
>>
>>
>Dana L. Harrington
>1963 Spyder
>
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Todd "HURRICANE" Harrington 
RIDE HARD & DIE FREE !

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