Laifman, Steve S. wrote:
>
> >>>>> >>>Subject: Your Car Says it All
>
> (Not Originally mine, but for the CAPITALIZED stuff - Steve)
> >>>>> >>>
> >>>>> >>> The Statements Car Owners are Really Making
> >>>>> >>>
> >>>>> >>>
> >>>>> >>> Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports
>cars
> >>>>> >>> Acura Legend - I'm too bland for German cars
> >>>>> >>> Acura NSX - I am impotent
> >>>>> >>> Audi 90 - I enjoy putting out engine fires
> >>>>> >>> Buick Park Avenue - I am older than 34 of the 50 states
> >>>>> >>> Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
> >>>>> >>> Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp
> >>>>> >>> Chevrolet Camaro - I enjoy beating the hell out of people
> >>>>> >>> Chevrolet Chevette - I like seeing people's reactions when I tell
them I
have a 'Vette
> >>>>> >>> Chevrolet Corvette - I'm in a mid-life crisis
> >>>>> >>> Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the
>government
> >>>>> >>> Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather well
> >>>>> >>> Dodge Dart- I teach third grade special education and I voted for
> >> Eisenhower
> >>>>> >>> Dodge Daytona - I delivered pizza for four years to get
> >>> this car
> >>>>> >>> Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate
> >>>>> >>> Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart)
> >>>>> >>> Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones
> >>>>> >>> Ford Crown Victoria - I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and
>change
> >>>>> >>> lanes when I pull
>up behind them
> >>>>> >>> Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall.
> >>>>> >>> Geo Tracker - I will start the 12th grade in the fall.
>
> HILLMAN MINX - THEY TOLD ME IT WAS A WELL RESPECTED BITISH SPORTS CAR AT THE
> AGENCY.
>
> >>>>> >>> Honda del Sol - I have always said, half a convertible is better
>than no
> >>>>> >>> convertible at all
> >>>>> >>> Honda Civic - I have just graduated and have no credit
> >>>>> >>> Honda Accord - I lack any originality and am basically a
> >>>>> lemming.
>
> HUMBER SUPER SNIPE - THEY TOLD ME IT WAS RESPECTED BY THE ROLLS
> ROYCE DRIVERS IN ENGLAND. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT THEY MEANT THE ROLLS
> DRIVERS KEPT THEIR DISTANCE FOR FEAR OF TARNISHING THEIR IMAGE.
>
> >>>>> >>> Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
> >>>>>pending.
> >>>>> >>> Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his
> >>>reports.
> >>>>> >>> Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the
> >>>shop 280 days per year.
> >>>>> >>> Kia Sephia - I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
> >>>>> >>> Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle
> >>>>> >>> Lincoln Town Car - I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
> >>>>> >>> Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above)
> >>>>> >>> Mercedes 500SL - I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
> >>>>> >>> Mercedes 560SEL - I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named
> >>>>> >>> Cole
> >>>>> >>> Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an
> >>>>>eighteen-wheeler
> >>>>> >>> MGB - I am dating a mechanic
> >>>>> >>> Mitsubishi Diamante - I don't know what it means either
> >>>>> >>> Nissan 300ZX - I have yet to complete my divorce
> >>proceedings.
> >>>>> >>> Oldsmobile Cutlass - I just stole this car and I'm going to make
> a
> >>>>> fortune
> >>>>> >>>
> >>>>> >>> off the parts
> >>>>> >>> Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
> >>>>> >>> Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
> >>>>> >>> Pontiac Trans AM - I have a switchblade in my sock
> >>>>> >>> Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie
> PORSCHE 911T - I WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I"VE GOT A THINGEE AS BIG AS THE TURBO
> GUYS
> >>>>> >>> Porsche 944 - I am dating big haired women that otherwise would
>>>>> >>> be inaccessible to me
> >>>>> >>> Rolls Royce Silver Shadow - I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too
> >>>liberal
> >>>>> >>>
>
> SUNBEAM ALPINE - 50'S MODEL - IT MUST BE A SPORTS CAR CAUSE IT ONLY SEATS 2
> PEOPLE
>
> SUNBEAM ALPINE S1-SV - IT SURE LOOKS LIKE A SPORTS CAR, AND A FEW THINK IT'S
> A TIGER.
>
> SUNBEAM TIGER - I OWN ONE OF THE FEW SURVIVING TRUE SPORTS CARS - AND MY
> THINGEE IS SOOO BIG THAT I CAN DOUBLE CLUTCH WITHOUT USING MY FEET.
>
> >>>>> >>> Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic)
> >>>>> >>> Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
> >>>>> >>> inferior than Isuzu
> >>>>> >>> Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet
> >>>>> >>> Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns
> >>>>> >>> Volkswagon Cabriolet - I am out of the closet
> >>>>> >>> Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now
> >>>>> >>> Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
> >>>>> >>>
> >>>>> >>
{8->
--
Steve Laifman < Find out what is most >
B9472289 < important in your life >
< and don't let it get away!>
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