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Fwd: RAPTUS: Fwd: VIRUS WARNING <grin>

To: Yugohead@aol.com, Chewy7@gte.net, CJHuhn@aep.com, jspearce@infinet.com,
Subject: Fwd: RAPTUS: Fwd: VIRUS WARNING <grin>
From: FrizBMG@aol.com
Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 12:32:09 EST
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Subject: RAPTUS: Fwd: VIRUS WARNING <grin>
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From: Hutchmor@aol.com
Return-path: <Hutchmor@aol.com>
To: DBroadwo@canbible.ca, LReyre@sympatico.CA, SBgirl@aracnet.net,
        georgeholley@hotmail.com, stonehousev@bethany-ca.edu,
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Subject: Fwd: VIRUS WARNING
Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 08:16:39 EST
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In a message dated 2/23/99 5:18:45 AM Eastern Standard Time,
daclifton@juno.com writes:

<< ***-- VIRUS WARNING from MeMail.com --*** 
  
  Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this
  one is extremely serious.  Please read very carefully and
  take care!
  
  If you  receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it
  immediately. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty
  nasty.
  
  It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
  will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
  computer.
  
  It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
  
  It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking
  on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any
  CD's you  attempt to play.
  
  It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings
  so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
  
  It will program your phone autodial to call only your
  mother-in-law's number.
  
  This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
  
  It will drink all your beer.
  
  It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
  expecting company.
  
  Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and
  bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
  behind your ears.
  
  It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
  Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
  your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa
  card.
  
  It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a
  way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
  
  It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
  
  It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
  verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable
  misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key
  sentences.
  
  If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95
  environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
  hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
  
  It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and
  pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with
  whole milk.
  
  It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
  
  It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
  causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
  
  It is insidious and subtle.
  
  It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
  
  It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
  
  These are just a few signs of infection.
  
  PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
  
  
 
 
 ________________________________________________________________
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 by x1.boston.juno.com (queuemail) id D35TDTVL; Tue, 23 Feb 1999 05:17:52 EST
To: douglas.argot@cna.com, clifton.12@osu.edu, clifton.18@osu.edu,
        hutchmor@aol.com, llutman_studio@compuserve.com, ECWWCW@aol.com,
        wdrohrer@hotmail.com, donald.wachenschwanz@sympatico.ca
Subject: VIRUS WARNING  
Message-ID: <19990223.063146.4447.2.daclifton@juno.com>
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From: David A Clifton <daclifton@juno.com>
Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999 05:17:52 EST
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 ***-- VIRUS WARNING from MeMail.com --*** 
 
 Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this
 one is extremely serious.  Please read very carefully and
 take care!
 
 If you  receive an email entitled "Crazy Times" delete it
 immediately. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty
 nasty.
 
 It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it
 will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
 computer.
 
 It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
 
 It reprograms your ATM access code, messes up the tracking
 on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any
 CD's you  attempt to play.
 
 It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings
 so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
 
 It will program your phone autodial to call only your
 mother-in-law's number.
 
 This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
 
 It will drink all your beer.
 
 It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are
 expecting company.
 
 Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and
 bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
 behind your ears.
 
 It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with
 Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind
 your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa
 card.
 
 It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a
 way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.
 
 It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
 
 It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active
 verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable
 misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key
 sentences.
 
 If the "Crazy Times" message is opened in a Windows 95
 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
 hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
 
 It will not only remove the tags from your mattresses and
 pillows, but it will also refill your skimmed milk with
 whole milk.
 
 It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
 
 It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume,
 causing it to smell like dill pickles.(Remember Brut 33 ?)
 
 It is insidious and subtle.
 
 It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
 
 It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.
 
 These are just a few signs of infection.
 
 PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
 
 


Get secure free e-mail that you don't need Web access to use
from Juno, the world's second largest online service.
Download your free software at http://www.juno.com/getit.b.html.

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