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The Grandaddy of all Viruses

To: <tigers@autox.team.net>
Subject: The Grandaddy of all Viruses
From: DCStory@aol.com
Date: Wed, 26 Sep 2001 22:06:38 EDT
 If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes, " delete it IMMEDIATELY. 
 READ ON........ 
 
 Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. 
 
 It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also 
 delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It 
 demagnetizes the strips on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your 
 ATM access code, screws up the tracking on 
 your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you 
 attempt to play. It will program your phone auto-dial to call only 900 
 numbers. This virus will mix 
 antifreeze into your fish tank. IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE 
 
 YOU ARE SHOWERING. 
 
 It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? 
 
 It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are 
 expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair 
 with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind 
 your back and billing their hotel 
 rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and 
 
 throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. 
 
 It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to 
 passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly 
 change the interpretations of key sentences. If the "Badtimes" message 
 opened in a Windows 95/98 
 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer 
 plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. 
 
 
 It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and 
 pillows, It will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. 
 
 ******* WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ******* 
 
 And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart so 
 hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of 
 you, sending sparks that will ignite 
 the person nearest you. 
 
 Send to everyone ..... 
 
 In case you are a blonde, this is a joke. 

***
DON in San Dimas

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