CoolVT@aol.com (Mark) posts:
> I live in Vermont in a typically quiet neighborhood. It so happens that my
> street of about 20 houses has 1/2 of them occupied by single women. Now
> guys, don't get excited yet. Out of the 10 eight are 62 and older, one is
> about 40 and then there is Lisa (alias). Lisa is 32 and recently divorced.
> She loves working around her house and washing the car, clad in her bikini or
> gym exercising and toning what appears to be a wasted effort on an already
> perfect shape. .......etc.
>
>Mark L.
____________________
Overheard conversation between two "imaginary" people, looking over a
Tiger for sale:
Buyer: "pardon me, but could I see the trunk on your Tiger"
Seller: "Sure. It's in good shape"
Buyer: " It looks fair but I'd like it to hold more"
Seller: "Well this is a false floor, and removes to the area with the
battery, spare, jack, tools, and misc. stuff. Let me show you."
Buyer: "Could you remove everything so I could get a really good idea of
it's size?"
Seller: "Sure. Ugh! Grunt! Huff! Puff! There, everything but the
battery, or the car wouldn't run."
Buyer: "Do you mind if I get in, and you lightly close the trunk, so I
can get the real feel for it?"
Seller: "Well, if you take off your shoes."
Buyer: (muffled from closed lid) "Seems fine. Maybe I could even
temporarily put the battery somewhere else for a short time. I'll take
it. It will be great for this little project I have in mind."
__________________________
A little Time Passes:
New Owner, working on car in garage at night with door closed"
Owner: "Oh dear, could you give me a hand by holding a wrench on this
nut at the back of the trunk? Just climb in for a minute and hold it."
Wife: "I suppose so, Mark, but you spend more time with that piece of
junk than with me."
Owner: "Thanks, dear. And could you bring a few of those large plastic
garden leaf bags too?"
___________________________
Some time later:
Attorney: "Your honor, my client has no knowledge of his wife's
whereabouts, and petitions the court to find her legally dead........."
_____________________________
Some greater time later, another court:
Judge: "Having been found guilty, by a jury of your peers, of the
capital charges against you - it is the sentence of this court that the
maximum penalty of.........."
________________________________
Ad in local paper.
For Sale: One very good Tiger, best offer takes all. Call "Lisa" in Vermont.
_____________________________
Guy: "The Tiger was in great shape, and I bought it for a steal. You
should see the babe selling it. Showed it to me in her bikini. Maybe I
can get away from the wife some night and visit.............
__________________
All characters depicted are totally imaginary, and not intended to
represent any persons, living or dead. The SPCA further stipulates that
no animals were injured during the preparation of this material. Rated:
Mature Adult, Violence, Nudity, Adult Language, and whatever else we
could find.
Side note: Did you realize that "a Lisa" can also, be scrambled to be "Alias"?
--
Steve Laifman
Editor
http://www.TigersUnited.com
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