I hope you all excuse me for being self-indulgent here but . . .
Many years ago, around 2:00 AM one summer morning, I was tucked in to my
Ducati 250 Desmo, chin on tank, hands on clip-ons with arms wrapped around
tank, doing perhaps 80 MPH heading home along a very straight stretch of
East of Cincinnati along the Ohio river. I thought I noticed the headlamp
flicker and then 'blink' - complete darkness. Obviously, I was not killed
aftermath. A few days later I was recounting the incident to a fellow
motorcyclist who replied: "You know, I've owned German motorcycles and
the lights always worked. I've owned English motorcycles and the lights
never worked. I've owned Italian motorcycles . . . an Italian motorcycle
lose its lights on a mountain road in the middle of a corner - the Italians
have a sense of humor."
"Get home before dark."
Lucas denies having invented darkness. But they do still have a
claim to "sudden, unexpected darkness."
Lucas -- inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas -- inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch -- DIM, FLICKER and OFF.
The other three switch settings -- SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
The original anti-theft devices -- Lucas Electric products.
"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
Did you hear about the Lucas-powered torpedo? It sank.
It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal
Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much
Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and
asked the owner, "How can you tell one switch from another at night,
since they all look the same?" He replied, "It doesn't matter which
one you use, nothing happens anyway!"
Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and
began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they
offered which didn't suck.
Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Engineering guy that they
had trouble with his design shorting out. So he made the wires
Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas makes refrigerators, too.
Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Thomas Edison invented
the light bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the short circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment:
check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times
sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness
protect your unworthy servant."
Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random