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Fw: for LEXOPHILES (lovers of words) Friday humor

To: "healey help" <healeys@Autox.Team.Net>
Subject: Fw: for LEXOPHILES (lovers of words) Friday humor
From: <INSPTWO@msn.com>
Date: Fri, 28 Jan 2005 11:22:59 -0500
FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (lovers of words):
1.   A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired
2.   What's the definition of a will?  (It's a dead giveaway).
3.   Time  flices like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.
4.   In democracy, it's your vote that counts;  in feudalism,  it's your count
that votes!
5,   A backward poiet writes inverse.
6.   A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7.   She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg,  but she broke it off.
8.   If you dobn't pay your exorcist you get repossessed!
9.   With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10.  Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor!
11.  When a clock is hungry it boes back four seconds.
12.  The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
14,  you feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it!
15.  Local Area Network in Australia:  the LAN down under.
16.  He often borke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17.  Every calendar's days are numbered.
18.  A boiled egge in the morning is hard to beat!
19.  A lot of money is tainted.  "Taint your and 'taint mine.
20.  He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21.  A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22.  The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.
23  Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24  Whe you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall!
25.  Those who jump off a Paris bridget are in Seine.
26.  When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she though she'd dye.
27  Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28.  Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29  Accupuncture is a jab well done!




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