Why do politicians hate to play golf on municipal courses? Because it's too
much like their job -- one lousy lie after another.
A guy gets home after a round of golf. "How was it, honey?" asks his wife.
"It was OK," says the guy. "I played on my own today."
"Oh?" says his wife. "How come you never play with Jim anymore?"
"Jim? Would you want to play with someone who always improves his lie in the
rough, coughs at the top of everyone else's backswing and generally moans
all day long about his miserable life?"
"No," says the wife, "I guess not."
"Well, neither does Jim."
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much
earlier age.
Four singles join up on the first tee and decide to play a big money game,
no strokes. One golfer is paired with an old-timer.
"I hope you don't mind." Says the old guy, "but I've brought my dog with me.
He helps me play better." Sitting obediently beside him is a small, white
poodle.
"Fine by me." Says the golfer.
The old buy doesn't play the first hole well, but he does make a 1-foot
putt, for triple bogey. The poodle claps, moonwalks across the green on his
hind legs, does a back flip, then a triple somersault.
"Wow -- that's amazing," says the golfer. "This is gonna be a great day. --
we're bound to win with your poodle as our mascot. And he does all that just
for a triple bogey. What does he do when you make a birdie?"
"I don't know," says the old guy. I've only had him for 10 years."
John Sims, BN6
Aberdeen, NJ
www.healey6.com
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