[Top] [All Lists]

the world's oldest profession

Subject: the world's oldest profession
From: (Denise Thorpe)
Date: Wed, 27 Dec 95 11:42:50 PST
Ernest E. Gilbert responded to Ray Gibbons misinterpretation of what I said,

> > And Denise Thorpe (aka our heroine) replied: 
> > Well, the first one that comes to mind is the oldest one.
> > Actually, Started out in the oldest profession, 
> > then became an MG mechanic?  Let's see, 
> > would this be a step up, or a step down...
> Denise - I'm curious now. The oldest profession can't be what most on this
> list assumed since by definition there first had to be some other
> profession, be it gathering or hunting or whatever, before that profession
> could be practiced. I learned that lesson trying to date the origins of 

As Ray pointed out, when I mentioned the world's oldest profession, I was
talking about the professions I have _not_ had.  That said, I can now be
silly.  I've never been able to date lawyers either.

I suspect that the oldest profession is something like politician or TV
evangelist (without the TV).  Hunting and gathering can't be the oldest
profession because they're things you do for yourself.  A profession is
something you do for someone else in exchange for money or goods or services.

Probably the first thing a human did that didn't put food in his own mouth
but made other people put food in his mouth was to frighten other people 
with the fear of the unknown.  You know, like, "If I don't get 10 million 
dollars, god will call me home."  But back before the Catholic church 
invented guilt, it would have been, "If I don't get a coconut, god will call 
_you_ home."

The only fear for primitive man as strong as the fear of the unknown, would
be the fear of that group of more upright people over the hill (known 
quaintly as "that group of more upright people over the hill").  The caveman 
who could convince his fellow crouchers that he knew how to keep those more 
upright people over the hill at bay would feel himself entitled to at least 
20% of their coconuts.  However, if the more upright people over the hill
moved away, he wasn't likely to tell anyone.  The development of the 
politician was therefore closely followed by the invention of lying, 
cheating, stealing, and the IRS.

So what does this have to do with MG's?  Modern man doesn't have as much 
unknown to fear and there are no more communists over the hill.  There are
some of us (probably throwbacks) who need to live in the kind of fear 
experienced by primitive man and so we hurtle along roads in cars that are 
known to fly apart without warning or leave us stranded in a hostile 
environment (see Andy Ramm's trip #6).  Not only do our cars break down 
often, but they break down in mysterious ways that give rise to quasi-
religious superstitions (e.g., Lucas as the devil).  This has created a new 
priesthood: the MG mechanic.  How many times have you called in your MG
mechanic to exorcise the demons from your car?  How often do you quote
your MG mechanic as if you're quoting a prophet?  In contrast, how often
do you quote your Honda mechanic?

Since I'm the only female professional MG (ex) mechanic I've ever heard 
of, I elect myself high priestess.  When everyone's done bowing and 
scraping, my car needs to be washed and waxed.

Denise (from Dionysus) Thorpe

<Prev in Thread] Current Thread [Next in Thread>