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RE: Politically correct Santa - Warning, highly offensive material (no L

Subject: RE: Politically correct Santa - Warning, highly offensive material (no LBC content)
From: Ernest <>
Date: Thu, 19 Dec 96 12:20:15 -0800
Please forgive this list response to hiloday levity, but I have discovered the 
true nature of the 'politically incorect' concept. It seems that the ego of 
most human individuals cannot support itself without at least one prejudice. 
And since most of the traditional prejudices have now been rightfully 
disapproved, the 'politically incorect' individual has become a target of 
convenience as a source of ego support. Therefore all existant prejudicial 
ferver has been transferred to identified politically uncorrect individuals. 
And the process of identification continues. I for one believe perfume is a 
danger to secondhand smellers because of the documented cases of extreme 
allergy .... I could go on....


Sent:   Wednesday, December 18, 1996 17:18 PM
Subject:        Politically correct Santa - Warning, highly offensive material 
(no LBC content)


Santa's workers no longer would answer to Elves,
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And Labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.

So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.

And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him.  And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim.  Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was on e ecological.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.

So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."

Merry Christmas from Dallas Texas (23 degrees this morning, -9 windchill)

R. Johnson

'90 Maine Coon (won't go outside)
'76 Midget (is outside, we will see if it will go)
'73 MGB (doesn't want to go outside)
'79 Midget (awaiting love and cash infusion)

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