Oh, what a great topic for Friday evening! Yes Eric, you are a dangerous
lunitic, but that's why we love ya'!
Your gopher problem brings back lots of memories of waiting on the
hilltop next to my folks house for one of the little thirteen-line tunnelers
to poke his head up. I had hours of fun skipping low velocity .58 caliber
slugs across the grass and ripping the furry pests right out of the ground.
For their size it was like hitting them with a flying telephone pole! When
they got smart enough to stay in their holes I used a garden hose to flood
My Dad has uses lots of organic solutions for pest control. Dried blood
and red pepper scares off rabbits or deer, soap chips bother some other
pests and I remember him using Porodi cigar butts and beer poured in bottle
caps to chase off something else. Or maybe that was just an ingenius excuse
to sit in the garden, drink beer, and smoke cigars.
I'd recommend being really careful messing with acetylene and pipe, you
might start looking like some kinda domestic terrorist. Besides, I think
you're missing a system for delivering death that most all of us has
available. How about another common gas that isn't explosive, has yet to be
regulated by the Government, is extremely lethal, and comes with its own
handy pump? ...and it's as close as the tailpipe of your car! They won't
survive a good dose of carbon monoxide for long. It's cheap, easy, and you
don't risk blowing a big hole in your yard. Add a bit of transmission fluid
to the intake and you'll be able to locate all the tunnel exits by following
the smoke. A few feet of vacuum cleaner hose oughto be all it takes to
deliver the gas, while you sit in air conditioned comfort inside your car.
Environmental damage? Probably less than with other gasses, and the dead
gophers oughto make good fertilizer.
Get out there and gas the little pests and let us know how it works.
Pole Cat Hollow, NC
----- Original Message -----
From: "Eric Murray" <email@example.com>
Sent: Friday, April 26, 2002 4:48 PM
Subject: blowing up gophers
> Hi y'all.
> I've got a serious gopher problem.
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