Forwarding this from another list, just for fun.
Polish up your spell checkers for this one !
Guy
> THE NEW EUROPEAN UNION
>
> The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English
> will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was
> the
> other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
> conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
> accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as EURO-ENGLISH:
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will
> make
> the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour
> of
> the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
> letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words
> like
> "fotograf" 20% shorter.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
> to
> reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
> will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
> deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of
> the
> silent "e" in the language is disgrasful, and should go away.
>
> By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
> with
> "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
> from
> vords kontaining "ou" and similar changs vud of kors be aplid to ozer
> kombinations of leters.
>
> After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
> mor
> trubls or difukultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
>
> ZE DREM VIL FINALI HAV KUM TRU!
>
>
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