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FW: 35 Fun Things to do When Driving

To: "'Spridgets'" <spridgets@autox.team.net>
Subject: FW: 35 Fun Things to do When Driving
From: BILL <billh@aaai.com>
Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 06:50:55 -0700
Reply-to: BILL <billh@aaai.com>
Sender: owner-spridgets@autox.team.net
Other drivers think LBCer's are already a little "off" so here's some
things to do to have fun with them.

Bill Hunt
64 MKII - Herbytoy (someday it will get "looks")

-----Original Message-----
From:   Joke of the Day [mailto:Joker@joker.org]
Sent:   Thursday, August 12, 1999 10:04 PM
To:     joker@joker.org
Subject:        35 Fun Things to do When Driving

35 Fun Things to do When Driving
        1.      Have a friend ride in the back seat.  Gagged.
        2.      Roll down your windows and blast talk radio.  Headbang.
        3.      Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
        4.      Two words: Chicken suit.
        5.      Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red
paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
        6.      Pay the toll for the car behind you.  Watch in rearview
mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
        7.      Laugh.  Laugh a lot.  A whooooole lot.
        8.      Stop at the green lights.
        9.      Go at the red ones.
        10.     Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out
your window or sunroof.  Feel free to make it dance.
        11.     Eat food that requires silverware.
        12.     Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of
trousers, put sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you
drive.
        13.     At stop lights, eye the person in the next car
suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
        14.     Honk frequently without motivation.
        15.     Wave at people often.  If they wave back, offer an
offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
        16.     At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
        17.     Let pedestrians know who's boss.
        18.     Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
        19.     Restart your car at every stop light.
        20.     Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror.
Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
        21.     Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw
their butts out the window.
        22.     Keep at least five cats in the car.
        23.     Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
        24.     If a fire truck comes up behind you, pull over, get on
the roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
        25.     Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
        26.     Have conversations, looking periodically at the
passenger seat, when driving alone.
        27.     Stop and collect roadkill.
        28.     Stop and pray for roadkill.
        29.     Stop and cook roadkill.  (If in Tennessee.)
        30.     Throw Spam.  Tape signs on windows protesting email
abuse.
        31.     Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down...
to...  a stop.  Then get out and watch the cars. 
        32.     Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed
limit.
        33.     Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town
you're in.  When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at
your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
        34.     Sing without having the radio on.
        35.     At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around
you, then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...
 
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