DRIVING STYLES
*One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
*One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
* One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across
all lanes of
traffic: New Jersey. Frank?
* One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
accelerator: Boston.
* One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat-double decaf
cappuccino, cradling cell
phone, brick on accelerator with gun in lap: Los Angeles.
* Both hands on wheel, eyes on the speed limit, one foot
hovering over the
brake, one barely on the accelerator: Ohio.
* Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator,
head turned to talk
to someone in back seat: Italy.
* One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone,
foot on brake,
mind on sports game: Seattle.
* One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating
between both feet
being on the accelerator and both feet on the brake,
throwing a McDonald's
bag out the window: Texas.
* Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear
window, beer cans on
floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.
* Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above
window level,
driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left
blinker on: Florida.
* One hand on the wheel, the other holding a cell phone,
driving 130 mph and
four feet from your bumper while flashing headlights to tell
you to get the
HELL out of the way just before crossing 4 lanes with no
blinker and backing
up on the freeway to get off at an exit they passed 2
minutes ago: Atlanta.
* One hand on the wheel, driving a 1985 Monte Carlo,
everyone on the road is
gliding at 100 mph on ice, listening to "Pop that Cootchie"
on the radio: Detroit.
* Two hands on the wheel, face red and tensed up, yelling
racial slurs out the
window at anything that moves: Indiana.
* No hands on the wheel, chugging a couple brewskies, doing
10 miles an hour
staring at the cows, on a back road in no-wheres-ville:
Wisconsin.
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