Subject: Just when you thought it was safe....Robert Kansa
Hold it! Hold it! This guy Kansa has a reputation a mile long and I
wouldn't be so quick to welcome him to our PG-rated list.
First of all, he's been known to surf the net dressed only in a
handkerchief. Rumor has it he has raced his bugeye nude. I've raced my
Midget in the same group with him, and he's always sneaking up behind me and
making loud belching sounds that cause me to lift prematurely and let him
by. He has body perforations and facial hair. He travels with not one, but
TWO women, who were once asked by officials in Akron to put rain coats over
their outfits in a public place because it was a family venue. It has been
rumored that he participates in the slave trade of white women and these two
gals are really brain-washed Belorussians who learned race car maintenance
from a series of cassette tapes he prepared while serving as oil change boy
and BahBahLube applicator for an obscure IMSA team from West Japipp, Ohio.
He has been seen driving a converted bread truck with its checkers in
disarray. Inside are photos of naked women and a *brass pole* for
after-race shenanigans. He has been censured (and perhaps even censored) by
none other than WST, The Flounder of Team Thicko, where I understand there
are NO RULES! He calls his car "Tinkerbell" and calls his tinkerbell "car."
He runs a fake license plate! Is this the kind of person YOU want your
children to be emailing???? None of this is exaggerated. I have no
commercial interest. Just be ready! He is the kind of person your parents
warned you about.