"
"Occupational Descriptions..."
An accountant is someone who knows the cost
of everything and the value of nothing.
An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle
and bayonets all the wounded.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella
when the sun is shining and wants it back the
minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow
why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen
today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers
but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on
a plane, because that decreases the chances that
there will be another bomb on the plane.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem
you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking
for a black cat which isn't there.
A topologist is a man who doesn't know the
difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word
document and calls it a "brief."
A psychologist is a man who watches everyone
else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's
sleep.
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who
used to think she liked children.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch
off your wrist and tells you the time.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell
in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Regards,
Robert B. Houston
Vice President of Sales
Transervicios S.A. de C.V.
Office - 915-592-2082
Cell - 915-726-0704
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