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funny how flying rules resemble racing rules

To: team-thicko@autox.team.net
Subject: funny how flying rules resemble racing rules
From: DSRGR@aol.com
Date: Wed, 21 Jul 1999 10:36:22 EDT
AVIATION 101

Takeoff's are optional.  Landings are mandatory.

Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick 
back they      get smaller.  (Unless you keep pulling the stick back -then 
they get bigger again)

 Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up  there wishing 
you were down here.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep  the pilot 
cool.  Want proof?  Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.No one has ever collided with the 
sky.

It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is the first!

Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from  which 
you can walk away.  But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.' 
It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands. Never let 
an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.

A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and 
reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random 
in motion.  Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the 
earth immediately repels them.

If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.

Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no 
one knows what they are.

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation.  You start with a large 
fortune.

 A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and 
about flying when he's with a woman.

A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you. Runway behind 
you.  Fuel in the truck.  Half a second ago.  Approach plates in the car. The 
airspeed you don't have.

Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but 
not for one who still is.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it 
thinks about dogs.

Gravity never loses!  The best you can hope for is a draw!

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