Clyde died when his trailer caught fire and was burnt pretty bad. The morgue
needed someone to identify the body. Since he had no living kin, his two
best
friends, Clem and Zeke, were sent for.
Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said, "Yup, he's
burnt pretty bad. Roll him over." So the mortician rolled him over and Clem
spread the dead man's butt-cheeks apart and stared closely between them. He
said confidently, "Nope, it ain't Clyde."
Then he brought in Zeke to identify the body and Zeke took a look at him and
said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over." The mortician rolled him
over and Zeke leaned way down so that his face was very near to the man's
butt. After this close inspection, he repeated Clem's assertion, "No, this
ain't Clyde."
The mortician thought this was rather strange and finally asked Zeke, "I
probably don't want to know this... but... how can you tell?
And... what's the deal with rolling him over, anyway?"
Zeke replied, "Well, ya see doc, Clyde had two assholes."
"What!?" asked the mortician, shocked, "Two assholes?!?"
"Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes..."
The mortician stared at Zeke, dumbfounded.
Zeke continued, "Heck, every time we went to the bar, folks would say, 'Hey,
here comes Clyde with them two assholes!'"
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