A man appears before the pearly gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?"
St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offers.
"Once I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers
who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to
leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So I
approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker.
I smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped
out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, and told
him, 'Now get out of here."
Saint Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Just a few minutes ago."
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