In composing my long list of excuses for how I did at the Tour, I did
come across one that high(?)lighted the weekend. Since most who have
heard it found the story humorous (at my expense of course) I thought
I'd pass it along to the National list and get on with my
forget-the-Tour therapy.
The story starts at the Sharper Image in late December. Yes, like
most yuppie- male-idiots I was in a frenzy of last minute Xmas
shopping and foolishly, stupidly wandered into the $harper Image. I
was looking for another present for Teresa and came across the little
Motorola TalkAbout radios. Hey, I thought, these would be great for
all those times Teresa tries to track me down at autox events. Now,
being the aforementioned yuppie idiot, I just had to get top of the
line models! The only key points to remember at this point are top of
the line model and Sharper Image pricing.
Fast forward to the San Diego National Tour. I had just squeezed in
that last 1/2 course walk after working and needed to get to grid to
run in the last group. I swung by our pit for a last minute cheap
energy charge (Coca-cola) and thought I'd take a needed visit to the
port-o-facilities. After using the side mounted stand up unit in the
port-o-potty (this is geometrically important) I headed off to grid.
Oh yeah, better check in with Teresa again to see if she needs
anything on my way. Hey! Where'd my TalkAbout go? After frantically
checking my pockets I'm confused, since I don't remember dropping it.
Lesse, I had it *before* I went to the port-o-potty. Uh oh. No, no,
no, NO! Pleeaaasse be on the floor, pleeasse be on the floor.
A quick few steps back to the recently vacated port-o-potty revealed
the awful truth. I now realized why I hadn't heard it drop. How
could I when it had a "cushioned" landing? So, put yourself in my
place. Very expensive little toy. First cars are about to head out on
course any second. Part of the toy is still "exposed", or "clean".
Well, I don't know about you, but I went in.
Daintily holding the "clean" portion of the Talkabout, I ran back to
our pits and hid it under the trailer. I figured I'd bring in the
chemical spill team later to see if it could be rescued. Needless to
say, I was a little distracted when I arrived breathlessly at grid.
Making matters worse, I then stupidly told Teresa the story right
before her first run. That's when she said she had been trying to
call me, but I wasn't answering. If I hadn't retrieved the item, what
would the next user of the port-o-potty have heard while "employing"
the facility? "Honey, where are you?" or "You better hurry, I'm about
to run".
Anyway, that's my excuse. "Crappy" as it may be, I'm holding to it.:-)
See ya in San Berdoo.
-Andy McKee
P.S. A remote, thorough spraydown with cleaner plus a couple days of
drying appear to have returned the Talkabout to functional status.
Kudos to the Motorola team for designing above and beyond forseen uses.
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