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early friday funnies

To: "healey help" <healeys@autox.team.net>
Subject: early friday funnies
From: <INSPTWO@msn.com>
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 2005 15:53:08 -0400
..

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the "Deer Crossing"
sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he
didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, KS.
_____________________________________________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person
behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only
had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!
______________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I
replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled
knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
_______________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was
crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if
I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when
the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people
doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
___________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the
company due to "downsizing,"
our manager commented cheerfully, this is fun. We should do this more often."
Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for
the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy
with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.
____________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car,
we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department
and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I
watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's
open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at
the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
_______________________________________________________

they walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE!!!




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