TOP 10 THOUGHTS FOR 2006:
Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person
to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but
you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down
the stairs.
Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to
criticism.
Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:
We know exactly where one cow with mad cow disease is located among the
millions of cows in America, but we don?t have a clue as to where millions
of illegal immigrants and numerous terrorists are located. Maybe we should
put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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