> Life's Great Lessons
>
> 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do
> not walk ahead of me,
> for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
> Just pretty much leave
> me the hell alone.
>
>
> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
> broken fan belt and
> leaky tire.
>
> 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
> going to steal your
> neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
>
> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be
> replaced, you can't be
> promoted.
>
>
> 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like
> everyone else.
>
>
> 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>
> 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
> missing a couple of
> car payments.
>
> 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
> mile in their
> shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a
> mile away and you have their
> shoes.
>
>
> 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
> for you.
>
>
> 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
> Teach him how to fish,
> and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
>
>
> 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that
> person again, it was
> probably worth it.
>
>
> 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to
> remember anything.
>
>
> 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the
> windshield.
>
>
> 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know
> them.
>
>
> 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
> it in half and put
> it back in your pocket.
>
> 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
>
> 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light
> side and a dark side,
> and it holds the universe together.
>
>
> 18. There are two theories to arguing with women.
> Neither one works.
>
>
> 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much
> when your lips are
> moving.
>
>
> 20. Experience is something you don't get until just
> after you need it.
>
>
> 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
>
> 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
> pill and a
> laxative on the same night.
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