----- Original Message -----
From: DeMund, John E
To: Bob St (E-mail) ; Eric Dodd (E-mail) ; Glen Barrett (E-mail) ; Jennie
(E-mail) ; Herbert, Keith B ; Eckweiler, Robert W ; McElroy, Warren A
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2002 12:58 PM
Subject: FW: Retraining for Liberals
-----Original Message-----
From: Hildreth, Howard R
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2002 12:36 PM
To: DeMund, John E; Guenther, Mike; Cooley, Phil M; Brown, Joe B; Komara,
Virgil J; Dueease, Bob; Allison, Chuck A
Subject: Retraining for Liberals
Dear Liberal:
Thank you for your recent whiney-assed letter criticizing the treatment of the
Taliban and Al Queda detainees being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
As part of the Administration's Liberal Re-training Program, you'll be pleased
to learn that the Administration has decided to place one detainee under your
exclusive care. Your detainee is scheduled to be delivered to your personal
residence on Monday. The detainee is to be cared for pursuant to the standards
you strongly recommended in your letter of admonishment. It will be necessary
that you hire your own caretakers. We will also conduct weekly inspections,
of course, to assure that your detainee is actually being cared for in the
manner you personally prescribed.
His meal requirements are simple, but we strongly suggest using menus that do
not require utensils. While he does bite, the rabies test was negative,
although he does have a bad case of body lice that we haven't completely
remedied.
Although he is sociopathic and very psychotic, we do welcome your promised
efforts to overcome that "attitudinal problem" with your promised counseling
and home schooling. He's extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can
extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or light bulb
We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these proficiencies at your
next bridge party.
He also has the ability to make a variety of lethal bombs from common
household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up,
notwithstanding that it may conflict with your moral values or disrupt your
maid's daily routine. Please heed the large orange notice attached to your
detainee's cage. "Does not play well with others".
Your detainee generally bathes quarterly, with the change of seasons, assuming
that it rains, and washes his clothes simultaneously. That should help with
your water bill.
Be assured, your detainee absolutely loves pets of all kinds, but is
especially fond of cats and dogs. He prefers them roasted.
You take good care of our detainee now.
George W.
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