Sir:
Any southern boy would *know* that "off" and "near" refer to the positions
of the ox in a team from the drivers point of reference. The oxen are
*always* hitched the into the same positions in the yoke. Therefore in
Dixie, the "near" ox is on the left, so the team can drive on the right
and the driver walk or ride on the left, to facilitate passing other
teams. God only knows what a Brit driving on the *wrong* side of the road
thinks is "off and near".
Yours, in my most humble opinion,
Dwade
On Sun, 3 Nov 1996, W. R. Gibbons wrote:
>
> On Sat, 2 Nov 1996, BOB NOGUEIRA wrote:
>
> > As long as we are discussing the meaning of spanners ( and make no
> > mistake about it, I would much rather read about spanners than cats)
> > could some one explain "near side and off side " again. Maybe if I knew
> > the origin of the terms I'd remember which is which.
> > And why isn't it off side and on side or near side and far side?
> >
> > Bob Nogueira " Just a little bit off of the Far side"
> >
>
> A Short Sunday Afternoon Monologue on "Near Side" and "Off Side"
> by W. R. Gibbons, Ph.D.
>
> The origin of these terms is lost in antiquity. Adam referred to the
> right hand ox in his team as, "Adam's Off Ox." (Adam was afflicted with a
> peculiar disability that caused him to think and speak of himself in the
> third person. It drove Eve a little nuts when Adam would say, "Was
> good for Adam; was good for you?" But she was a pragmatist, and
> couldn't see the percentage in leaving Adam in the hope of finding someone
> less annoying. The best known modern-day bearer of this syndrome is plain
> old Kansas citizen Bob Dole, who also speaks with approximately the same
> english fluency as Adam. Bob Dole claims to be a direct descendent of
> Adam; evidently the syndrome is inherited. One day, we can doubtless
> expect science to identify the genetic defect, though science will prove
> unable to cure it. But I digress.)
>
> Adam referred to his left ox as "Adam's near ox." Nobody knows why.
> Nobody cares. Perhaps Adam walked along on the left side of his team; it
> doesn't matter. For most of the world, outside of England, the terms left
> and right suffice perfectly well. Well, I should say for most of the
> english-speaking world outside of england left and right suffice. The
> French, for example, use different words, but as the comedian Steve Martin
> has observed, "Those French, they have a different word for everything."
> Actually, many francophones can speak english, and when they do, they
> say left and right. In fact, many francophones speak english better
> than Bob Dole, not that that's any big trick, but only when alone with
> other francophones. French people will never admit to an anglophone that
> they understand a word of english, unless there's a profit in it.
> Sometimes, not even then.
>
> Please excuse me; I have a temperature of 102.
>
> Ray Gibbons Dept. of Molecular Physiology & Biophysics
> Univ. of Vermont College of Medicine, Burlington, VT
> gibbons@northpole.med.uvm.edu (802) 656-8910
>
>
|