Quite funny :-)
--
Warrantee Registration
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website
by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company,
of course, does not - and made the web department take it down
immediately. (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the
world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade
[_] Classified [_] Other
First Name: ......................................................
Initial: ........
Last Name: ......................................................
Password: .............................. (Max 8 char)
Code Name: ......................................................
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ........... ........... ..........
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified
3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): 19....... / ....... / .......
4. Serial Number: .................................................
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product
you have just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Style / appearance
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Back room politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(S) where this product will be used:
[_] North America
[_] Central / South America
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Europe
[_] Middle East
[_] Africa
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Classified
9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to
purchase in the near future:
[_] Color TV
[_] VCR
[_] ICBM
[_] Killer Satellite
[_] CD Player
[_] Air-to-air Missiles
[_] Space Shuttle
[_] Home Computer
[_] Nuclear Weapon
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(Check all that apply:)
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
[_] Deficit spending
[_] Cash
[_] Suitcases of cocaine
[_] Oil revenues
[_] Personal check
[_] Credit card
[_] Ransom money
[_] Travelers check
12. Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student
13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating in on a regular basis:
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Border disputes
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Crafts
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Defaulting on loans
[_] Destabilization / overthrow of governments
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Fashion clothing
[_] Gardening
[_] Golf
[_] Household pets
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Sabotage
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Wines
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. Do you have comments or
suggestions about our fighter planes? If so, please write to:
MCDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800, St. Louis, MO
--
Kai Radicke -- kmr@pil.net -- 1966 MGB @ http://www.pil.net/~mowogmg
IRC: irc.mcs.net, #inet-access (my nick: KMR or rebelgeek)
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