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MG's vs Motorcycles

To: mgs@autox.team.net
Subject: MG's vs Motorcycles
From: "Thomas James Pokrefke, III" <pokrefke@netdoor.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Jul 1999 11:02:25 -0500
I don't think I will ever complain about my MGB again.  My best friend
and fellow MGB owner Jim dug an old Yamaha out of his garage and brought
it to my house so I could 'help' him get it running.

Jim is a wonderful friend, but his mechanical skills are at the same
level of the Cro-Magnon caveman.  I offered my skills in return for
first chance to buy the bike.  What a sucker:  The closest I've come to
motorcycle repair is watching the Fonz fix his bike on Happy Days
re-runs.

I quickly nailed the problem down to the ignition circuit.  When I began
pulling apart wire connectors, I was impressed.  Lucas has nothing on
Japanese wiring.  Each of the connectors were so corroded with a thick
blanket of, well, corrision that it was nearly impossible to seperate
them.  After hours of wire brushing, scraping, cleaning, and
re-assembling, the bike still wouldn't run.

My next suspect was the relay for the sidestand.  It burned my arm when
I brushed up against it.  I took the cover off, and the relay was so
badly corroded it would not budge.  However, it had enough resistance to
roast marshmallows over.

Did I mention the oil/grease?  You think British cars leak oil?  You
should see a 20 yr old Japanese motorcycle.  There was oil coming out of
places oil probably shouldn't be.  The nicest feature was the Active
Rust Control/Chain Drive System".  The chain, moving at what I guess to
be 1700 feet per minute, throws a nice spray of oil/grease over anything
around it.  Including, presumably, the rider's left leg.

Finally, I surmised the ignition coil was bad.  That's when I decided a
motorcycle was probably not for me.  Two o'clock on a Sunday afternoon
and not a single motorcycle shop was open.  If it was my MGB's coil, I
could have traipsed over to Discount Auto Parts, given them $20 for a
shiny Accel Super Coil, and been on my way.

I really can't complain, though.  Jim started out wanting to sell the
bike for $1000.  I've talked him down to $700.  Apparently, using
paperclips for jumper wires across wiring connectors tricks motorcycle
owners into thinking their bike is in worse shape that it actually is.

Thomas James Pokrefke, III
1970 MGB
1982 Yamaha 650
1999 Wheel Chock Chaser
pokrefke@netdoor.com

Quote of the adventure:
     "If it's not the coil, how come you can lick your finger, put them
in the spark plug boot, and crank the engine without any fear whatsoever?"

                     - Me to Jim, after he doubted my contention that
the coil was dead

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