Perhaps some of you have seen this, but it is interesting.
Blake
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THE DARK SUCKER THEORY (The J. Lucas theory on electric
lighting.)
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light,
but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs
don't emit light: they suck dark. Thus we call these bulbs Dark
Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark
suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are
in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is
elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity
to suck dark. Dark Suckers in a parking lot have a much greater
capacity to suck than the ones in this room. As with all things,
Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark,
they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a
full Dark Sucker.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white
wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black,
representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you
put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will
turn black. This is because it got in the way of dark flowing
into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive
Dark Suckers is their limited range.
Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a
solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a
great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an
operating candle.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't
handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark
Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be
either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can
operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from
the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an
operating Dark Sucker.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below
the surface of a lake, you would see light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker
and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total
darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of
the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. That is why it is called light.
Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark
Sucker.
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