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What are bearings? Non-sequitor

To: spitfires@autox.team.net
Subject: What are bearings? Non-sequitor
From: "Terry L. Thompson" <terry@firespitter.com>
Date: Fri, 23 May 2003 17:28:58 -0700 (PDT)
1 hour ago I received a call from FedEx at some remote
area code.
The conversation went something like this:
<PHONE RINGS>
FE agent: "Is this Terry Thompson"
Me: "Yes"
FE agent: "Mr. Thompson my name is Sandra XXXXX, Are
you expecting a package from the United Kingdom?"
Me: "Yes"
FE agent: "Mr. Thompson does this package contain
Bearings?"
Me: "Yes. It should. I did order some bearings from
the Uk recently"
FE Agent: "Mr. Thompson, if this package contains
bearings you can NOT have it imported into this
country."
Me: <pause> "Excuse me...what...why?"
FE Agent: "Mr. Thompson, the packing slip says that
they have shipped you Camshaft Bearings? Is this so?
If so, we cannot deliver this package to you."
Me: "Yes. I am expecting a camshaft, some camshaft
bearings, and some valve retainers from the U.K....I
don't understand..."
FE Agent: "You can not have bearings imported. Does
this really contain camshaft bearings?"
ME: "Well...um..I'm not understanding what you're
saying....Yes. there SHOULD be bearings in the package
I'm expecting but they are not bearings in the sense
that they are roller bearings or ball bearings or
something of that sort....Is there a problem with
bearings?"
FE Agent: "Can you describe what they are?"
ME: "Um, they're sort of like circles of metal that
are cut in half. A shim of metal that goes between the
camshaft and the engine block."
FE Agent: "They are steel?"
ME: "Um. I think so...I'm not really sure...Some sort
of tri-metal compound, I assume...Steel, copper..I
think...um alloys of some sort"
FE Agent: "So I can call them Shims?"
ME: "Uh....<pause>...Yes. I suppose you can call them
whatever you like. But the British call them Camshaft
bearings....<pause>...Though I think they could better
be described as a shim." (((<-As you can see here, I'm
still not getting it.)))
FE Agent: "Okay, Mr. Thompson, I will call them
shims..."
<Hang-up phone>
ME: "What the hell....?????????"

My sister thinks that the FedEx agent thought that
"BEARINGS" may have been some sort of produce...Like
BERRIES...Eldarbearings? Strawbearings?Or maybe she
thought I was importing an animal? Perhaps a very
small oriental bear from the far-off region of
"camshaft".
I'm still puzzled. But I hope my shims get here soon.
I'm hungry. 
:)
-Terry

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