Actually, I'd take a few of those days right about now. Just came back with
the kids from looking at Christmas lights in shorts (84 deg today, although
it did hit the 30's at night last weekend). It just ain't right. Maybe a
top down Bugeye ride will help... ;-)
Ron Soave, Dislocated Northerner
Melbourne, Florida
where winters are USUALLY cool, but summer is like hell, only slightly more
humid.
----------
> From: Rick / Carolyn Walters <walters@mail.softcom.net>
> To: spridgets@autox.team.net
> Subject: why I moved to CA, Humor
> Date: Thursday, December 11, 1997 8:47 AM
>
> Hi All,
>
> This came off the net from my wife's craft's thread.
>
> CountryJoy wrote:
> >
> > Diary of a Mad Shoveler
> > or
> > A Texan Moves to Wisconsin
> >
> > December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of
> > the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for
> > hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
> > from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic
> > we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
> >
> > December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white
> > snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
> > sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World?
> > Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the
> > first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our
> > driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came
> > along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway,
> > so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
> >
> > December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> > disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll
> > definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would
> > be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of
> > winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think
> > that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our
> > neighbor.
> >
> > December 14: Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
> > dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
> > took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway
> > and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this
> > afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would
> > have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
> > back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.
> >
> > December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
> > Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
> > shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in
> > case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't
> > in Alaska, after all.
> >
> >
> > December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my a** on the ice
> > in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like h***. The wife
> > laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
> >
> > December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
> > anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the
> > blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife
> > and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood
> > stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't
> > believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
> >
> > December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the
> > da** stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. %!#%!!
> > snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel,
> > but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're
> > lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about
> > buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another
> > shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
> > shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
> > lying.
> >
> > December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13
> > more inches of the white sh** fell today, and it's so cold it
> > probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all
> > dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom.
By
> > the time I got undressed, and dressed again, I was too tired
> > to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the
> > rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the
> > !%#!!% is lying.
> >
> > December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
> > wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
> > What is she nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month
> > ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
> >
> > December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
> > shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch
> > the SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow
> > by his b****. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me
> > to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
> > street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where
> > I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
> > carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching
> > for the %!!&%#!! snowplow.
> >
> > December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !%#%*!
> > slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood
> > boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by
> > asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my
> > shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an
> > idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more
> > time, I'm going to kill her.
> >
> > December 26: Still snowed in. Why the h*** did I ever move
> > here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
> >
> > December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
> >
> > December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE
> > WIFE is driving me crazy!!!!!
> >
> > December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the
> > roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
> > heard. How dumb does he think I am?
> >
> > December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me
> > for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9"
> > predicted.
> >
> > December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more
> > shoveling.
> >
> > January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white
> > pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
> >
> Rick
>
> Formally lived in Upstate NY.
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