If you drop a buttered piece of bread, it will fall on the
floor butter-side down. If a cat is dropped from a window
or other high and towering place, it will land on it's feet.
But what if you attach a buttered piece of bread, butter side
up to a cat's back and toss them both out the window? Will
the cat land on it's feet? Or will the butter side splat on the
ground?
Even if you are too lazy to do the experiment yourself you
should be able to deduce the obvious result. The laws of
butterology demand that the butter must hit the ground,
and the equally strict laws of feline aerodynamics demand
that the cat can not smash it's furry back. If the combined
construct were to land, nature would have no way to
resolve this paradox. Therefore, it simply does not fall.
That's right, you have discovered the secret of antigravity!
A buttered cat will, when released, quickly move to a height
where the forces of cat-twisting and butter repulsion are in
equilibrium. This equilibrium point can be modified by
scraping off some of the butter, providing lift, or removing
some of the cat's limbs, allowing descent.
Most of the civilized species of the Universe already use this
principle to drive their ships while within a planetary system.
The loud humming heard by most sighters of UFO's is,
in fact, the purring of several hundred tabbies.
This joke was originally part of an OMNI Magazine during
or prior to 1993.
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