Gregg, thanks fer postin' them thar rules en such, we need to git that right on
out thar in the open right offen the bat, know whut I mean Vern. And Michael, I
betcha I can give a Mexican an onion and a goat, and you'd have the best damn
B-B-Q you have ever tasted. That's juss how it is here in the United State of
Texas!! <BG>, open arms, welcoming smile, and a gun in the holster (it's legal
here ya know!!)
Graziano, Michael wrote:
> Well, if us Northerners only had our indoor kitchens installed a generation
> ago, we'd be darn good barbecuers too.
>
> Flame Suit Engaged....
>
> LMAO
>
> Michael
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Greg Gowins [SMTP:cartman@dnai.com]
> > Sent: Monday, January 31, 2000 12:32 PM
> > To: Spridgets List
> > Subject: Warnings for those Yankees attending SPRIDGETSTOCK 2000 (not
> > a lick o' LBC)
> >
> > All good Southerners already know this, but in fairness to those Yankees
> > (northerners visiting the South) or Damn Yankees (northerners who visit
> > the
> > South and stay) who may venture South, there are some things you need to
> > know. Southerners who may have Yankees visiting this season (such as you,
> > Liz), please pass this along.
> >
> > 1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a
> > day, so let them cook something they know.
> >
> > 2. Don't laugh at people's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy Ann,
> > Mari Beth, and Inez have all been known to whoop a man's ass for less than
> > that.
> >
> > 3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda ~ this can lead to a
> > merciless beating. Down South, it's called Coke, even if you want a
> > Pepsi.
> >
> > 4. Don't show allegiances to any college football squad that isn't an SEC
> > or
> > Big XII team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who get to play
> > some ivy league school every week.
> >
> > 5. Don't refer to Southerners as a bunch of hillbillies. Most of us are
> > more literate than you (e.g., Welty, Williams, Faulkner), better educated,
> > and generally much nicer to boot. We've got plenty of business sense
> > (e.g.,
> > Turner Broadcasting, MCI/WorldCom, MTV, and Netscape). Naturally, we can
> > have lapses of judgment from time to time (e.g., Clinton, Fordice, Duke).
> > We don't care if you think we're dumb ~ we know better!
> >
> > 6. We are fully aware that the humidity is high. Quit your bitching,
> > spend
> > your money, and leave.
> >
> > 7. Don't order wheat toast at the Cracker Barrel. If you do this,
> > everyone
> > will know you're from Ohio, New Jersey, or worse, Philadelphia. Eat the
> > biscuits like God intended, and for God's sake, don't put sugar in your
> > grits.
> >
> > 8. Don't attempt to fake a Southern accent. Nothing will incite a riot
> > faster.
> >
> > 9. Don't go around talking about how much better it is back home. If you
> > don't like it here, take your Yankee ass back home.
> >
> > 10. We don't play lacrosse, hockey or any of those other sissy-ass
> > northern
> > games, so don't ask about the scores. We simply don't care.
> >
> > 11. We know how to speak proper English ~ we talk this way because we want
> > to and we can. It's like playing jazz ~ you have to know how to do it
> > right
> > first.
> >
> > 12. Last, but by no means, least, DO NOT try to tell us how to bar-b-q.
> > This could lead to permanent expulsion and revocation of your work visa.
> > You're damn lucky that we let you come down here in the first place, so
> > don't push your luck!
>
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